A million years in seconds passing.

TC left. She was brisk and didn't want to talk or even have a drink when she left. When I read her LJ I saw she was pretty upset.

Todays rune was "separation"

It's hard. World falling apart. Friends drifting away and there's nothing I can say to her that can make it okay. Like The Dreamwalker said: "There is nothing more to tell. Just understand."

How can you cry for help when there's nothing anybody can say anyway. Not that you know how to utter a sound. All you long for is physical contact. A hug or a hand on your arm before you scurry off again. Friends are far away, a million lightyears in seconds passing.

How can anyone understand what it's like to have Gassy, the suicidal housemate, in your head 24 hours a day, knowing you have to face that dredded time when you must face your fear, get your bike and go home. Be in that house. She too now locks her door. The small things you remember in the hope they will provide a rockface you can stand on. But all is sand and you slowly start to sink.

Die, horoscope, DIE!

( Analyze the trivia )

Expression

Erik asked me how I was doing. “Well, I’m living with your suicidal girlfriend. And how are you?” Didn’t really say that. Wanted to though. I’m trying not to be such a bitch anymore. Really trying hard, but it’s tough:
Kicked a coffeemachine. Threw a pen across the cantina. Annoyed Marijke bigtime pretending to be a total lunatic and saying I’d missed her since that morning (which is a total looney thing to do unless you want to be converted to Christianity). E-mailed Marius and Robert. Chatted with the Lionman and Ozjish. Ate with Marjolein and managed to only look her in the eyes twice. [she’s like a mild Medusa I think: look her in the eye too often and you’ll get depressed] Don’t think I was poisened by her. Never know. Best antidote: coffeee….mhmblll *more drooling sounds*

(no subject)

Seeing something she hasn’t seen in use before in combination with me using her sowing machine (unasked, for the heavens to cry about) was the perfect excuse to annoy me and to be in my room. Filthying it with her presence, Marjolein barged in, told me that plants, and water, and soaking and drowning, and then hammered on the fact I should ask before I could use something of hers.

Gods of the heavenly skies, make it Thursday and let me then send her away! Prithee patience, and faith.

Why am I even writing this down? Am I an LJ-junkie? Could it be?