A million years in seconds passing.

[janestarz]

TC left. She was brisk and didn't want to talk or even have a drink when she left. When I read her LJ I saw she was pretty upset.

Todays rune was "separation"

It's hard. World falling apart. Friends drifting away and there's nothing I can say to her that can make it okay. Like The Dreamwalker said: "There is nothing more to tell. Just understand."

How can you cry for help when there's nothing anybody can say anyway. Not that you know how to utter a sound. All you long for is physical contact. A hug or a hand on your arm before you scurry off again. Friends are far away, a million lightyears in seconds passing.

How can anyone understand what it's like to have Gassy, the suicidal housemate, in your head 24 hours a day, knowing you have to face that dredded time when you must face your fear, get your bike and go home. Be in that house. She too now locks her door. The small things you remember in the hope they will provide a rockface you can stand on. But all is sand and you slowly start to sink.

Comments

Getting out

[janestarz.livejournal.com]

Getting out of here, school, means going to the house.
Away from internet and it's denying reality options.
Facing HER.

It's either be here, or be there.

[tommycee.livejournal.com]

I think that this being scared thing has been going to far. Why don't you seek profesional giudance on how to cope with this all? Or am I now saying something I should not say?

I mean I can't help you eventhough I wan't too and you should know I want you to be happy and stuff, but I can't help you. You can help yourself and if you can't you should find someone who can.

She didn't kill herself she's killing you.

[tommycee.livejournal.com]

And the reason I did't wait for you to get away from your computer any longer was because you sounded like you and your computer were having more fun than I was... so. Nothing personal I guess.

And probably I should not wear this mask of mine all the time, untill I explode. But believe me it's hard when everyone expects you to "be tought" all the time bcause when you can't take it anymore and only want to cry, being tough is the last thing you want to do.

But I will no loinger bother you with my problems. You've got enouhg of your own.

[janestarz.livejournal.com]

You can't be tough forever. And you can't protect me from your problems. I have taken the good sides of you as a friend as well as the bad sides. That's what being a 'friend' is all about.

If I can't stand to hear about other people's problems, I'll turn the tv off. But I can't deny you that listening ear you deserve. Because you are my friend.