Jane's Journal

Comment to this post, mention you want to participate and I will list seven things I want you to talk about. They might make sense or they might be totally random. Then post that list, with your commentary, to your journal. Other people can get lists from you, and the meme merrily perpetuates itself.

So these are the words I received: Religion, children, fastfood, global warming, capital punishment, americanism, cuddles (from Lanzaned)
muziek, stress, vakantie, stoelen, geloof, kunst, water (from Orothoniel)

Religion
Why don't we start with the big one: Religion. I was raised a christian, and I went to a christian school when I was a kid. It was the kind of school where you had to learn a psalm by heart each week and you'd get a grade on reciting it back by heart. (I was very nearly always perfect, getting a 10 each time). In our small village there were two churches. The Hervormde Kerk was more strict that the Gereformeerde Kerk where we went to.
During college time I was forced (by circumstances beyond my control) to go to a Christian college if I wanted to start my studies that year. Thanks to my upbringing I got in and after three years I was quite done there. I might have been the rebellious adolescent, but they were not very open-minded either. Lucky for me, I had a friend who stood with me.
This left me feeling bitter towards christians (because they were soooo closed-minded! Or so I thought back then) and I even dabbled in Wicca for a while. I read Scott Cunningham's book and realised that he was laying down rules that would only hinder anyone trying to pick up this craft and religion. But other things did strike a chord: living with the seasons, the threefold rule. I also did an interview with people from the Church of Satan, which necessaitated I do some research there as well. Later on in life I read bits about Buddhism, always having liked that book about the Dalai Lama I have on a shelf.

Reading about other religions can open your mind. These days I think many people who do not count themselves part of a religion take bits of the rules they like and they can live with and make their own religion.
In one lecture at work (when I was working at Sogeti) I saw a staircase of 7 parts of a person that defines how you decide on your actions. Spirituality was at the top, and directly underneath that was individuality. Religion can and does define who we are and what we do.

I am far more open-minded these days than when I was studying. A friend of mine was baptised before his wedding and became a christian. If that helps him in his life to make decisions and if he is happy in the congregation, I applaud him and wish him well. But religion can also blindfold you to other truths, and that is something that limits people in their growth and in being who they need to be. I can only hope that we are allowed the freedom to choose for ourselves.

Children
Well, there's kids and then there's kids. I don't want children, and I have many reasons for this. I would not enjoy the pregnancy and I wouldn't want to inflict hormone-inflated, killer Jane on anyone close to me. And there is so much in this world that I cannot understand, that I do not want to put a child in this world.
Then there's other people's kids. There's a lot of kids I can't stomach, and mostly that has to do with the parents as well, and how they raise their kids. I see the Van Leij clan and their kids and I only wished that my childhood could have been like that. I really admire their patience and love and parenting skills (although I do greatly value my own strength, which grew from the misery surrounding the divorce) and I must admit I do enjoy their kids as well. Of course, they outgrew kid-hood by now. But take Ragar's daughter. She tests you to the limits but I do care for her. I'm just very happy that at the end of the day she goes home with him and I get to rebuild my livingroom. ;-)
Most other kids, the kids from non-larpers... that is to say: the kids from people with very different values... no, thank you.

Fastfood
This is a bad thing to ask me to talk about as I am dieting again. My body (or brain) is addicted to fastfood. Sugar, salt and grease are things we easily get addicted to. On school nights, especially if I have 20 minutes to wait before my train goes, it's so easy to buy some fast food. Becaus you're bored.
However, now that I am trying to be more aware of my eating pattern, and I use up some willpower points, and I prepare for the schoolnights, and take some sandwiches along for the train trip home, I don't have a lot of problems with saying "no". And on the rare occasions I get to enjoy a cup of coffee with Lanzaned, that chocolate muffin tastes all the better for it.
So boredom is part of it (sing a song out loud, people will smile at you!) and the rewards are minimal. My bowels dislike most fast food (but especially McD and Smullers!) and you get a goo-ey reminder of why fast food is a bad idea.
I would enjoy fast food that has a nutritional value that is higher than that of cardboard. They do try to cater to that, with salads, but I realised those salads have been pre-packaged weeks beforehand and they don't taste very well. Instead: the AHtoGo salads are very good and dietitian-approved. I enjoy the Ceasar salad and with 550 kcal it is just right for dinner. It has lettuce, tomato, potato, croutons, bacon, cheese and carrot, so it is several food groups rolled into one. Mmm...

Global warming
We don't get winters like we used to. Or summers. Or I can remember playing outside in the puddles and I didn't even get cold!
We change, and our view of the past may be jaded. We need to look towards science; there are scientists who can prove global warming exists and others who prove it doesn't. On the grand scale of things, we have had ice ages and we have had millions of years of weather that we cannot recall. There was the Spörer Minimum in Medieval times. You can argue both ways.
What I do believe is that we have been using up the Earth's fossil fuels at an alarming rate. These things take thousands if not hundreds of thousands of years to form naturally, and in the space of half a decade we use up a large portion. What will we do when there are no more? Will we expand our petrochemical industries to manufacture a substance that works in a similar way (and at what cost to the environment?) or will we finally start to look at healthier, environmentally-friendly alternatives? Twenty years ago science was not ready yet and these things cost more energy to produce than they would deliver over their expected lifetime, but we do live in a time that solar panels (et al) are worth using. And who knows how far we've progressed in ten years?
I think we are at or have just passed the turning point and environmentally friendly things are being used more and more. They do not (yet) supply all the power needed for the buildings they are integrated in, but it is a step in the right direction. We rely less on fossil fuels and we reduce the impact we have on our environment. Whether it is already too late, we don't know. Maybe we never will.

Capital punishment
This is a topic I know nothing about. I don't follow the news, and I don't come into contact with crime. I hardly think about this topic, and I'm not socially invested enough to speak up one way or the other.
As far as I know (and this might be missing the mark completely!) capital punishment is not used in the Netherlands and what I see on TV it is not even used in all of the fifty states of the USA any more. That said, I have heard about cases where people were put to death while there were still people believing (knowing) they were innocent and trying to build a case. It's one of the huge risks with capital punishment: executing the wrong person.
And when to apply? Should we kill rapists? Murderers? Child abusers? And where do we draw the line? Shoplifting no, but corporations that scam yes?
There's people far more educated in Law that might explain it better, but I just don't know anything about the topic. And who am I to say who should die and who should live?

Americanism
I dislike it. America is not the top of the world. It isn't the best country in the world to live in (and many Americans would agree) and I often wonder why we are so impressed with it. Why would we worship that country and copy it in so many ways? Well, because it's on TV of course!
Ugh.

cuddles
Well, there's hugs, which I do with my friends, and there's cuddles, which I can do with the people I really trust. And if you're a stranger, you get neither. There's really not that much I can say about cuddles.

Muziek
Astonishingly enough I know a few people who do not listen to music very often. I was brought up with music, I remember the first CD my parents bought ever: the Alan Parson's Project, the CD that started with Sirius so you couldn't really tell whether it was working.
In my childhood I remember many things about music. How my dad disliked the Carpenters and my mom disliked Pink Floyd. How we played Creedence Clearwater Revival that one Sinterklaas.
Music can set my mood and I play certain songs when I want to write certain things. I enjoy many styles, and because music is so tied in with moods, it depends on how I feel what I play.

Stress
There's the 'oh gosh, I'm late for my train' stress, which I often have but never need because my watch is set five minutes fast. And there's the stress that comes with a job. Although stress can make you more productive, it's a lot harder to get rid off than bathroom fungus. I think it took me at least three months to feel like I didn't feel the subliminal stress from work anymore. Of course you feel better as soon as you leave the job, but there's a rushed feeling that needs to slowly ebb away and it can only do so gradually. And that takes time.

Vakantie
NoKey and I haven't been on holiday in the last few years unless you count our larp expeditions. We went to Greece together twice, which counts as two holidays in seven years of being together. That's not a lot. Truth is, the larp expeditions are, next to stressful, a lot of fun and they are relaxing and adventurous and fun all rolled into one. They should count as holidays.
I don't often think about holidays. There's a million places on this earth I would like to visit, but I don't want to visit them badly enough that I am saving money or actually planning a trip. Perhaps we should think about it, plan and book a trip to Anywhere But Here for a change.

Stoelen
The best part of this meme is that you can interpret the subject as you yourself would like. The strange thing is that although I have need of a good chair to sit in every day, on weekends where I play Truestrike that need disappears completely. I am so much in motion, that my muscles stay warm and my back suddenly doesn't need all the support it does when I'm at home.
I dislike the chairs in buses (too short for my back) and stop trains (too small for 2 people to sit next to eachother) but I do enjoy the chairs in the intercity's. I really need a good chair to go with my sewing machine, because the chairs from our dining table are really quite horrible and unsuited.

Geloof
I've discussed religion with Lanzaned's words, but faith is something quite different. I think it can be more important than religion. Without faith, there is no life. Faith (and hope) are reasons to live. If you can believe in something, you can make things better, you have something to strive for. Religion can be nothing more than an institution (and indeed, for many people it is), while faith can be as simple as a good idea.

kunst
I feel like lately I'm starting to appreciate art more. The definition of art I always used was that a piece of art should move the viewer. There should be some reaction, be it good or bad. (Example: Lady Gaga's meat dress would be considered art in this regard.)
But if you look at the situation I am in now I realised something else. Some artists create art because they feel they need to. There is something inside them that needs to get out. (Like Dexter. But different.) Despite all the social pressure and peer pressure that you should go out and get a job, these people need to create something, to tell their story, to get their message or their view out into the world. Sometimes it's a social commentary in the form of cabaret (kleinkunst is zeker weten wel kunst!). Sometimes it's a view on how fashion reflects the business world of today. Maybe I'm just rediscovering art, or redefining my definition of what art is.

water
Love it, hate it. I hate to splash water on my face, and whenever I go to the pool and swim underwater I get a cold as soon as I dry off (some of the water just goes where it doesn't belong, maybe). If I take a shower my skin gets really dry, but the relaxing feeling of warm water and getting clean is just so nice. And think of this: Without water, there would be no tea.
Or coffee.

Latest thing in the office is playing Wordfeud on your mobile phone with as many colleagues as you can find. It works cross-platform (Android/iPhone), and basically it's a game of scrabble, but you can play multiple games at the same time and wait up to 72 hours for your next move. If you want to challenge me to a game look me up as Annet N.

I think it's inevitable that as we read each other's journals we create mental pictures of each other. Post this on your own journal to find out who your friends see when they read about your life.

Two Rules:
1) The person you "see" must be in the movies or on TV (but doesn't have to be an actor/actress). The person can be specific to a role or character or just the person.

2) Post a picture of that person.
2a) Repost to your own journal.

Found via kass_rants.

Nathreee tagged me and I will humour her.
A. People who have been tagged must, if they choose to participate, write their answers on their blog and replace any question that they dislike with a new, original question. Please italicize the new question if you do that.
B. Tag eight people. Don't refuse to do that. Don't tag who tagged you.

Eight people? Jeez. You know what? If you feel bored, or at all up to it, snag it, post it in your blog, and tell them I tagged you.

01. What are your internet nicknames?
I just have the one, which is Jane Starz.

02. How do you style your hair?
I cut it quite short a year ago, and it's grown a wee bit since then. At first, I could hardly wear it in a ponytail, so I had it down more often. Now that it is longer, I find I wear it down a lot less. Usually I put it in a ponytail or double it up to keep it from hanging in my neck, before it grows too long to do that. I sometimes clip it up, but soon it will be too long for that too, and I can switch to braiding it.

03. What's new in your life right now?
My first assignment is ending, and we might be emigrating to Belgium! This is certainly new and makes sure I will have some stuff to think about during the holidays.

04. Describe something you did in the last week that made you happy, or which you enjoyed very much.
I baked no less than three pies and I ate them with my colleagues and my friends. Sharing the love is always a good thing, and I love baking!

05. Are you an introvert or extrovert?
I used to be very introvert, but now I'm more extrovert. I do try to keep my real feelings hidden from strangers and not let my mouth run away with me, but don't we all?

06. What was the last book you read?
I'm in the middle of three. Sort of. I started a bit in Karen Traviss' True Colours, which NoKey is still reading. I'm also assimilating Firefly, the Official Companion part One by Joss Whedon. And I tried reading Lauren Weisberg's Chasing Harry Winston but I got fed up with her endless yammering about looks.
It does tell you something that all three books are in English, doesn't it?

07. Do you nap a lot?
Never. If I'm really tired I tend to fall asleep while watching tv, but usually I crawl into bed before that happens.

08. If you had to have a one night stand with someone famous, who would you like it to be?
I wouldn't know! I'm not one for one night stands, and I can't think of anyone I would find attractive enough and have a fun enough personality that I'd do them. But if I absolutely must choose, it would probably be the guys from Rapalje.

09. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
My testmanager is being an absolute pain in the patooie. But I will not see her again until my assignment runs out, so there will not be too much stress and whining from her.

10. What's your current obsession?
I have many, many obsessions. I'm working hard on Dolle Griet events, but there's costumes to be made and designed too!

11. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
Usually between 20 and 40 minutes. If NoKey's not getting up with me, I tend to skip breakfast or bring it into the train with me, shortening my time. I don't wear make-up and don't spend hours on my hair (two minutes, tops) so that helps.

12. What websites do you visit daily?
First thing I log onto at work is ebuddy. Then I open a new instance of my browser and visit Livejournal, Slashdot, Userfriendly (after nine), xkcd, PVPonline, Ctrl-Alt-Del, Commissioned Comic, Yarolds, the Sogeti intranet. I spend way too much time on livejournal, hoping someone will update.

13. Do you write fic? What was the last fic you wrote?
Only of my own adventures. And then it's called blogging.

14. Do you like to clean?
Not really, though I will if the mood takes me.

15. What's the last song that got stuck in your head?
I can't recall, and that's a good thing. I listen to "When You're Evil" by Voltaire far too often, and then it is stuck in my head, but in a good way.

16. What's the last movie you saw?
Mama Mia, last night. In the theatre it was Indiana Jones 4. And the last non-movie I saw was Jeff Dunham's Talking to Myself in bed with the laptop last night (How decadent!).

17. What are some of the traits your ideal partner must have?
He must be sweet and have common sense, intelligence, and empathy. But he must also know when I'm being irrational and be firm. He must like Live roleplay, or indulge me in playing it.

18. What is your least favourite thing to do that you have to do every day?
Taking care of my skin. I hate my skin, it's dry, it's irrational, it grows George and I need to take care of it because it's failing me by not being strong enough. Bah.

Stolen from muizenstaartje



Arrr...where's my bumbling cabin boy arrrrrrr....

Started by the infraggable nq3x
"I ain't never started a meme before, so I aim to start one. Hopefully it's shiny.
Post your favorite Firefly or Serenity line!"

MAL: "I didn't start it. Just wanted a quiet drink."
ZOE: Funny, Sir, how you always find yourself in some Alliance-friendly bar come U-Day, looking for a "quiet drink."
MAL: See, this is a sign of your tragic space dementia. All paranoid and crotchety, it breaks the heart.

Feel free to steal and post!

Though I am on vacation, my dragons from the Dragon Cave still love attention.
( Here be dragons )

I have been tagged by anemoona to tell you eight little things or facts about me that are not public knowledge.

#1 - the back

I've had a back problem since I was seventeen years old. It started when I was working as a check-out girl at AH, where the repitition of movement combined with crappy chairs made my lower back so sore I had to get therapy for it. I didn't do my exercises like I should have, but the back has recovered during my time as a receptionist in the year after I quit AH. My back is always a weak spot though (regardless whether this is because of my work at AH). When I stand for longer periods of time, my lower back will start to hurt. If I sit at my desk too long, it's the middle back. At work, it's my shoulders giving me crap.

#2 - my looks

I have a love-hate relationship with my looks. On one hand, I really can't care less whether I look good or not. I'd just as well run out in sweatpants and a t-shirt as dress up in a skirt and a top (barring bad weather of course). The fact that NoKey really doesn't care either because he looks through the exterior, isn't helping much either.
Because of this, I sometimes feel unattractively fat or ugly when I look in the mirror when I am wearing sweatpants. When I wear nice clothes and dress well, I feel less ugly, and more beautiful. I believe then that the extra pounds are invisible - which they mostly are.
This makes it all the more hard to deal with them, of course.

#3 - the bathroom at work

I have a great hatred for the bathroom at work. It is quite clean, they take good care of that, but ever since I first used the bathroom here on the ninth of July 2007, I knew I would hate it forever.
The reason for this is the toilet paper. I don't really care whether it is thick or thin, because you just adjust the number of sheets to obtain the desired wad to wipe off. The toilet paper here is inside a dispenser that doesn't work well. If there are two rolls of paper inside, the lower roll which you have to use refuses to turn and dispense the paper. It tears off at the perforation or in the middle of the sheet. Great, one more sheet. Let's get a dozen more, shall we? Oh, look! It's only half of one...

#4 - Curly

Though I am more of a cat person I also love dogs. We've had a dog for most of my childhood. The first dog Bobbby was a labrador, and obedient. The second dog was already ancient when we got her, she had seen four families and had grown up with cats. She had played with Bobby when she was a pup. Her name was Curly, and she was the most smart and sweet dog ever.
There are many fond memories of Curly, including when I would walk her that Vlekje would come along. She would play with the cats - all were afraid of her, though Vlekje soon realised that Curly was mostly harmless and just pretended to be afraid of her. Curly would lie on her back in the grass next to the house, clutching a thick branch and rolling and snapping and yowling of fun. Then, she'd roll on one shoulder, check to see if we were still watching her, and do it all over again.
If I'd ever get a dog again, it would be another Bouvier de Flandres, and it would be a well-trained dog from very smart parents.

#5 - lists

I have a great love for lists. I probably learned it from TommyCee, who also always made lists. I can't stand chaos and I need to organise chaos in order to oversee it and work with it - something that in my current job is very important. My most important list is my to-do list of costumes, which lies in my atelier. It holds all items of clothing I still need to make. "A tunic for Manesni, black cotton" and "Hammerpants for Manesni, black silk" are items that could be on the list (could be, not is). I always divide orders into bitesize chunks like that, because it feels good to be able to strike something off the list.
My good idea of last week was to make The List (or the lits, as Ozjish would call it) digital. I'd like to have a webpage where I can just see the list. This is easily designed in Access, but we don't run Access at home. An SQL database would be better, but we didn't get around to designing it.

#6 - irrational fears

I have an irrational fear of organizing something. I am the kind of person who, when they have a good idea, likes to take action and do it. The problem with this is that I have to motivate other people, who usually are less inclined to take action and in the end, do not do their part, do it too late, or opt out at all.
I have a totally irrational fear of this happening to the Anarquendor, the elven archer group nathreee and I are setting up. I am very inspired and like to spout ideas to Nathreee, who gets enthusiastic in turn. Since we live on opposite ends of the country (which sounds worse than it is since it's only a two-hour drive) NoKey installed a php-forum to chat. However, people hardly post anything on the forum, hardly deign to reply to my e-mails. My most irrational fear is that the meeting on the 16th of February will only see four people coming on over, NoKey himself being out of town on that date (his fault, not mine in planning).

#7 - Wow

I do not play World of Warcraft and have no desire to do so either. I don't like any games that have to do with 3d fights, since I always get lost in them (even in Doom!). The nature of World of Warcraft is such that you spend tremendous amounts of time on a character in order to have fun with it. Similar to live roleplay, but at least the designing of a character doesn't cost any money per se, and it takes a lot less time. You can plan the character during long trips, in idle hours at work, during lunch when the colleagues insist on talking about soccer, etc. Wow has caused Goofy to focus less on roleplay and more on Wowtechniques during D&D, trying to kill the most enemies, getting the most hatred, and getting the drop.

#8 - the market

Though it's a hassle each and every time I go, the market is one of the places with many people I like to visit. It is a stewing-pot of culture and trends. You meet Turkish bakers, Hindustan fabric-salesmen, Maroccan herb-sellers, and pure Rotterdammers selling Dutch smartlappen (a kind of music). You see people in Staphorster garb walking over the market in summer, Rotterdammers shouting at eachother because they're in eachothers way, foreign cultures buying and enjoying stroopwafels. You see the people selling those horrible Crocodile sandles and then a few weeks later there is a salesman selling beads and fake gems to put in the round holes of these sandals.
It is, to me, also a social trip. The cloth merchants know me, and I never have to haggle for fabrics any more. I greet Joke, and chat with her, go by Piet and ask him how carnaval was, and incidentally buy 40 meters of fabric to take home. Despite the market being packed with people, I almost always like to go.

If you want to share eight facts too, snag at whim. I will not tag people because most of you have probably already done it or far to little time to bother with it.

My dream house. Note the helicopter pad.

( Read more... )