Returning to reality
Jul. 29th, 2002 10:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
janestarzIt hit me today when I weas back from that break of life: Ladyfest. When I was done doing my chores and I was glod to be at home I suddenly realised that in two weeks this won't be my home anymore. In two weeks I have to be gone from that place I live in because the new tenant will want to paint.
Just as much as I want to paint my new place. If Patrick ever shows up. There are signs that someone has been in the house, but I still can't reach him.
I really don't know what to do. I have this feeling it'll all turn out to be a fraud. Which basically means I will be homeless in two weeks. I'm sure I can sleep at friends' places but still, where am I going to stash my bed, my furniture?
The difference between Ladyfest and here is just so big. One day you're in a dirty hostel in a smelly room and you can't wait to sleep at home again and be able to shower. One day, you're hanging out with squatters, lesbians, punks, and you know exactly what you want to creatively put together in the next few months.
The other day you come home and you realise that though you have a nice bed it will not be there for long. The other day, you are re-confronted by your worries and you have to start coping again and that in the next few months yoiu have no idea what you're going to do and where.
And it's even harder that my mom is in France and I can't reach Tjerk and that I dare not call anyone else because I am afraid of what they might think or say or do.
Just as much as I want to paint my new place. If Patrick ever shows up. There are signs that someone has been in the house, but I still can't reach him.
I really don't know what to do. I have this feeling it'll all turn out to be a fraud. Which basically means I will be homeless in two weeks. I'm sure I can sleep at friends' places but still, where am I going to stash my bed, my furniture?
The difference between Ladyfest and here is just so big. One day you're in a dirty hostel in a smelly room and you can't wait to sleep at home again and be able to shower. One day, you're hanging out with squatters, lesbians, punks, and you know exactly what you want to creatively put together in the next few months.
The other day you come home and you realise that though you have a nice bed it will not be there for long. The other day, you are re-confronted by your worries and you have to start coping again and that in the next few months yoiu have no idea what you're going to do and where.
And it's even harder that my mom is in France and I can't reach Tjerk and that I dare not call anyone else because I am afraid of what they might think or say or do.
no subject
Date: 2002-07-30 05:58 am (UTC)What nasty things did whom say about me? If I wanted to be insulted I'd like to have it done to my face.
IRC, MSN, Ym, and ICQ are out. Heck, even Trillian is out. Either it's not working or it's being firewalled. I've tried to reinstall mIRC but they blocked that too. Or my knowledge isn't large enough.
And I don't squat. I'm quite attached to security.