Feel how the floor is sucking you in

[janestarz]

This has got to be my worst nightmare. Marjolein just came home. I walked into the kitchen and ‘casually’ asked her how the roomhunt was getting along.

She isn’t leaving.

I got all cynical on her, well go blame me. Excuse me for hearing her say “Then I’ll leave.” In that talk two weeks ago she said “Okay, then I’ll leave.” That afternoon [so she told me just now] she realised it was all in that spur of the moment, when she was crying and all emotional. That afternoon she changed her mind. And two fucking weeks later, when my life is just trying to steer to the good again, she bothers to tell me that she’s staying.

I want to get out of here, to a bar, to friends, to any place but here. But no-one’s close and no-one picks up the phone. I called TommyCee and that helped a bit. But I’m stuck here for now. I probably will live but tomorrow seems so far away.

What else can I do but cry?

Comments

[janestarz.livejournal.com]

I’ll probably live through this day
But tomorrow seems so far away

I've already hung some notes up to look for a new room. Talked to my other housemate, who is pissed off at Miss Gassitall. And to top it all off, I have a talk with her therapist on Thursday.

The nights are the hardest, you know. They always are.

Distance

[janestarz.livejournal.com]

Even TommyCee is too far away to crash at. Thanks to Tjerk, I can crash in Ede tonight.

But thanks, for the thought.

-.-

[janestarz.livejournal.com]

It's amazing how you always seem to find the perfect thing to say in a situation like this. Thank you.