Bright bright sunlight.

Why is it such a wonderful day when I wake up sleepy and blah? Well, yesterday work and So What. Kristel and Emile and I from the restaurant as well as the singer-guy from Nepenthe and the owner of the So What, Sergio. It was fun. Kristel complimented me on my work…I’ve only worked there two Saturday nights, and already I work harder than Timo, who has been working there for two months. I consider that quite a compliment, also just because she is the most busy one on such a night.

Got about 8 euro’s tip that I know of. Yay me. It went well. But I trew a fruitsorbet over myself. Didn’t hit any costumers though…which was good. I think.
Blah. Let’s get coffee and call my brother, which is way overdue.

Feel how the floor is sucking you in

This has got to be my worst nightmare. Marjolein just came home. I walked into the kitchen and ‘casually’ asked her how the roomhunt was getting along.

She isn’t leaving.

I got all cynical on her, well go blame me. Excuse me for hearing her say “Then I’ll leave.” In that talk two weeks ago she said “Okay, then I’ll leave.” That afternoon [so she told me just now] she realised it was all in that spur of the moment, when she was crying and all emotional. That afternoon she changed her mind. And two fucking weeks later, when my life is just trying to steer to the good again, she bothers to tell me that she’s staying.

I want to get out of here, to a bar, to friends, to any place but here. But no-one’s close and no-one picks up the phone. I called TommyCee and that helped a bit. But I’m stuck here for now. I probably will live but tomorrow seems so far away.

What else can I do but cry?