janestarz | The moment of despair

It all seems to be slipping away from my fingers. My house, my life, disappearing underneath the veil of silence and a mist of unacceptance. I cling to each last straw that tells me it's real, but I must bear with all the people who tell me it's not.

I feel numb as the life I can't talk about goes to sleep, the snooring slumber reverberating in a throbbing headache. My bones chill and the frost from outside settles within. Those who know about this remain silent. Alone alone despair alone. Knowledge brings words and thoughts bring life to the words everyone judges as madman's chatter.

I am not crazy, there's just no-one to back me up. If they spoke I'd be certain this exists. Now I just don't know anymore. If this world slips beyond my reach, will they too? They can not leave me here in this state of mind but that's what they do and that's what they've always done.

Why are the ones you need never the ones that are there and why are the ones that are there the ones that talk of another life and make mine seem hazy and far? Feel my pain, bring me back my life. Don't let it die like this?