Slamming in my head
Jul. 31st, 2002 01:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
janestarzWhatsup? Nothing much with me here chico'tjes and chica's. Just some random ranting mostly. I miss Ladyfest, the freedom and unconcernedness. It sucks to be back.
I've tried to find some info on breaking through this damn college firewall to get trillian or msn running again but I'm afraid you need to be a genius. It's really well protected. All ports (except the ftp port) are stealthed. I tried hacking the registry but I still can't get in (to enable protected programs) and the passwordfiles are unfindable. It's quite hopeless. Even telnet can't get out!
Listening to some mp3's on the net. I cracked open my packed-and-ready-to-go boxes. I had the marvelous idea (when I woke up at 7.30) to go and sow my new cloak, I ran into my headphone. So once I had unpacked all the rubbish I needed like pins, needles and cloth, I found out that Gassy has removed the spool from her sewingmachine! There is just no trust in this world anymore (damn she's so right. I am abusing that thing whenever she's gone). It's quite quiet now that she's on holiday, I must say.
Some random rants.
I found out that people believe the weirdest stuff these days. Some gossiping has been going around in the Dutch Elfwood group (so what else is new) about me (that's no biggy). Problem is that the people believe what is being gossiped about. I don't really care about what people think of me, because I am self-confident and I know I like myself. But what bothers me is that these people, who haven't been around me, get prejudice about me. They just assume this and that and never even bother to ask or talk to me.
It means I will probably not be invited to an DEW-party. I can live without party! Not without beer, but without party? Yes.
Other problem is that my latest ex is spreading the word. I've been reconfronted with our break-up. I still get a bit of a "awww" feeling when I think back, but that must be the mushy-ness influence of the card TommyCee gave me yesterday. It was so sweet! And Jan just was a real sweet guy. Just not the guy for me.
(I must honestly confess I did find one of the girls at Ladyfest a hottie, but that was as far as the feeling went.)
I've been thinking slam poetry all day since I woke up, especially as I was on the way to school or just doing stuff with my hands. You know: knitting? Well, that, only with one needle. In Dutch it's 'haken' and I don't know the english name. Also I found the mp3s of Jeanne Marie Spicuzza, the really mesmerizing slam poet. I've been wanting to organize my own slam poetry night...
And I'm gonna really
I've tried to find some info on breaking through this damn college firewall to get trillian or msn running again but I'm afraid you need to be a genius. It's really well protected. All ports (except the ftp port) are stealthed. I tried hacking the registry but I still can't get in (to enable protected programs) and the passwordfiles are unfindable. It's quite hopeless. Even telnet can't get out!
Listening to some mp3's on the net. I cracked open my packed-and-ready-to-go boxes. I had the marvelous idea (when I woke up at 7.30) to go and sow my new cloak, I ran into my headphone. So once I had unpacked all the rubbish I needed like pins, needles and cloth, I found out that Gassy has removed the spool from her sewingmachine! There is just no trust in this world anymore (damn she's so right. I am abusing that thing whenever she's gone). It's quite quiet now that she's on holiday, I must say.
Some random rants.
I found out that people believe the weirdest stuff these days. Some gossiping has been going around in the Dutch Elfwood group (so what else is new) about me (that's no biggy). Problem is that the people believe what is being gossiped about. I don't really care about what people think of me, because I am self-confident and I know I like myself. But what bothers me is that these people, who haven't been around me, get prejudice about me. They just assume this and that and never even bother to ask or talk to me.
It means I will probably not be invited to an DEW-party. I can live without party! Not without beer, but without party? Yes.
Other problem is that my latest ex is spreading the word. I've been reconfronted with our break-up. I still get a bit of a "awww" feeling when I think back, but that must be the mushy-ness influence of the card TommyCee gave me yesterday. It was so sweet! And Jan just was a real sweet guy. Just not the guy for me.
(I must honestly confess I did find one of the girls at Ladyfest a hottie, but that was as far as the feeling went.)
I've been thinking slam poetry all day since I woke up, especially as I was on the way to school or just doing stuff with my hands. You know: knitting? Well, that, only with one needle. In Dutch it's 'haken' and I don't know the english name. Also I found the mp3s of Jeanne Marie Spicuzza, the really mesmerizing slam poet. I've been wanting to organize my own slam poetry night...
And I'm gonna really
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Again you jump onto the road that is ahead of me
Date: 2002-07-31 06:45 am (UTC)Look: people gossip. And that they always will. Sooner or later someone will come up to me, or let something slip. That's no biggy. I can handle it. If 'the loose' want to gossip about me, there's nothing I can change about it. I did nothing wrong in my eyes, but only in their eyes.
As for "I don't like people being hurt when they don't deserve it": There is no world without hurt. Everyone gets hurt once in a while. They cope, or they give up. I'll cope. I'll always cope. Trust me. As for not deserving? Who are you to judge wheter or not I deserve their mistrust or their bad words. In their eyes, I can be a horrible person. You don't seem to think so, I don't seem to think so. They alone can change their attitude and they alone will do so if they think their attitude needs to be changed.
As for the feminist part. I too am a feminist. And you've heard me say "All men are whores!" Sorry about that. I shouldn't have generalized it. Some men are merciless, selfish, sexist bastards. But it doesn't mean all men are so. My bad.
The reason in my eyes that some feminists are lesbians is because lesbians are discriminated against sooner, and they sooner see that there's something wrong in this sexist world. They take action and they refuse to be treated like they're less. So should all women see this. Only a few do.
As for love: I will. It just...may take a while
And so will you...in time.
Re: Again you jump onto the road that is ahead of me
Date: 2002-08-01 04:53 am (UTC)But I'm a feminist. And I'm not a lesbian. And I do see the good things about men.
I wish I just found the guy who loved me as an equal. Cause, I guess...hum...I wanna be loved and love in return....
*smirk*
Sorry...
no subject
Date: 2002-08-01 02:21 am (UTC)St that got me upset.
What is it with peoples image of feminism? Why do guys (and fuck generalising because this just happen to seem the case...I guess) think we femists are all man-hating-generalizing-lesbians. Feminism isn't about that. There are a lot of feminists who ARE about that but well I am not like that at all.
People that know me, know I love guys a lot. (A bit too much maybe hehe).
I think I'm not gonna discuss this now and especially not in here... but comments like these hurt fucking much.
Are we still living in the fucking 50's? Fucking Christ man...
:(
Ok, enough. TC