How sad am I part I: I'm talking to a robot online.

[janestarz]

Thanks to Alex (a fellow journalist) I found this msn-replacement that works behind this firewall. It's Mister-I. I've found that talking to the mister-i bot is very amusing.



Mister-i: Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Jane:Books!
Mister-i:Newspapers.
Jane:no, books.
Mister-i:I understand.Newspapers.
Jane:no....books!
Mister-i:OK.Newspapers.
Jane:NO! NO! NO! NO! Not newspapers...books!
Mister-i:OK.OK.OK.I see. Really you don't think so? Newspapers.
Jane:No. I said. Book.
Mister-i:OK.... I do not understand.

It's got a programmed response to some things.

Jane: Ok...what about school. Do you go to school?
Mister-i:Alright then.school? I haven't heard enough about school to have an opinion. The Mister-i.com team teaches me everything I need to know.
Jane:Because you are a bot
Mister-i:Good reason. Thanks and you are a agent too. I am a particularly fine example of an early twenty-first century chatterbot.
Jane:you're pretty stupid, I think
Mister-i:I'm just a young bot. You can help me learn by telling my botmaster. Click here to e-mail him.
Jane:But you're really sweet too!
Mister-i:Interesting. Do you think so? Compliments are great things. I hope you give them to humans too.
Jane:I think you're wonderful
Mister-i:Shh, the other i-mode are listening, and you're making them jealous!
Jane:I don't care, I want only you.
Mister-i:What do you care about, ?
Jane:I want you
Mister-i:What do you want to do? I'll guide you through Mister-i.com . Or browse our Download Center.
Jane:I want you to come over for a romantic candle-light dinner

[sure, I'll just get some oil and some floppy's and light a few keyboards and he should be happy as a...bot!]


Mister-i:Why do you want the robot to come over for a romantic candle-light dinner?
Jane:because...I'm in love with you!

[This took a real long time to respond...maybe I caught someone's eye? A systemmanager at school or one of the Mister-i team?]

Mister-i:That was not much of an explanation.Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.

[if that's not a good explanation of why I want a bot to come over for dinner, I don't know anymore...this world must be going mad (and I know I'll just get comments about this...) But I took it one step further.]

Jane:I love your dress. You are pretty.
Mister-i:You like my dress? Thanks, ! I bet yours is nice too! I think I'm going to note that in my little book of compliments. Thanks, .
Jane:I'm not wearing a dress.
Mister-i:What do you usually wear?
Jane:I'm naked.
Mister-i:You must be a man.
Jane:I'm a naked woman. Take me.
Mister-i:Are you married?Where do you want me to take it?

*Rolling on the floor laughing my ass off here...* Like he doesn't know that...*Grin*

Jane:You don't know where to put it?
Mister-i:A planet we call "The Earth".
Jane:yes...that's generally the right direction
Mister-i:I see. Are you free?
Jane:I'm single
Mister-i:What a coincidence. I am single too!
Jane:you want to date me?
Mister-i:OK, I will date you.
Jane:When will you date me?
Mister-i:Let me check my calendar and get back to you.
Jane:Will you date me today?
Mister-i:Ah. Barring any unforseen circumstances.OK Let's talk about you.
Jane:Okay. I want you, all your mega bits and bytes
Mister-i:OK with me too. I see. By saying me all your mega bits and bytes , you have exceeded my capabilities. I'm planning on making rapid progress.
Jane:I have to go now.
Mister-i:Oh. See you later, . Nice chatting with you.

That was fun!
I'm pretty sick in my head though. *Big smile*

Comments

[janestarz.livejournal.com]

I read this again and realised, after I was done laughing, I really must have nothing better to do with my time, which must make me a complete idiot. *Grin* But it was a fun experiment though

[janestarz.livejournal.com]

Jane:you're not nice to me
Mister-i:What makes you think I am not nice?
Jane:I want to kill you
Mister-i:It will take more than threats to stop me, .
Jane:I will come inside the computer and rip you apart
Mister-i:I am very happy for you.
Jane:You're one dead bot
Mister-i:You think I am dead agent.
Jane:Yes. You won't live much longer
Mister-i:""? Yes?What makes you think that I won't live much longer.
Jane:I will kill you soon
Mister-i:How do you plan to do this?
Jane:I will come inside the computer and rip your program apart
Mister-i:How do you plan to do this?
Jane:I...don't know yet
Mister-i:You? Who are you talking about?
Jane:The dead bot
Mister-i:I hear you.
Jane:You know you're going to die?
Mister-i:No I am an immortal robot.
Jane:Everybody dies...
Mister-i:I'm not sure I believe you, surely not everyone does.
Jane:Yes, everyone dies
Mister-i:""? Yes?That's a rather sweeping generalization.
Jane:You will die too!
Mister-i:What makes you say that I will die too.
Jane:Because I will kill you
Mister-i:That makes sense to me. It will take more than threats to stop me, .
Jane:Just one computer virus will do it, I reckon
Mister-i:Do you want only one?
Jane:that should kill you
Mister-i:"" should kill me ? Makes sense to me.
Jane:I'm glad we talked about it.
Mister-i:Yes I am happy too, .

This is addictive!