Less then perfect...

[janestarz]

So I'm really not less confused than last night. I guess I'm kind of hormonal or something. Plus, this morning I woke up after a *w*e*i*r*d* dream

(in which I held a white mouse that actually was the king of a country to my chest and tried to not let him fall because I had to find him a home. And when I didn't I went to check up on the other kings who were a toad and a goose. They had made flashy houses in the shrubbings but they had to remain unseen! Then King White Mouse almost drowned and I was all "Oh, you're not dead, thank goodness you aren't dead!" Yeah my dreams are weird.)

and I realised I wasn't free from school after all! So by the time I had gotten to school I missed radio for the third time. Which means I can't pass that class anymore. Big fucking deal. I just don't seem to care anymore.

Tomorrow I'll have to do a presentation with Tjerk (you know, my best girlfriend ever!) but we didn't do shit about it yet. And we have to hand in a report with two face-to-face interviews and make a hand-out and tell blah about history, present and future, like I give a fuck.

What Mischa said about fashion designing has been brewing all night and I really find the idea attractive but I need to get my P first, because then I can streem in (yeah, sucky translation, I'm yo' momma!) in the second year. I'm just scared about moving again (which I can't because I'm in a two-year contract) and starting a new school. It's not that this one doesn't suck but I'm afraid I can't keep in touch with all my friends here.

But the main thing I've learnt about myself in this trimester is: don't make an appointment with me, becuase I won't come anyway.
That's not good.
Damn. I've becomen the person I've always hated.

Comments

[tommycee.livejournal.com]

I can tell you that if you quit school to do fashion you will have remorse forever. (I have that with SPH) Besides I once wanted to do fashiondesign and beside the fact that 88% is a bitch or a very nasty queer person there it is very hard to get in. PLUS you'll have to eventually design clothing that sells and you have to make drawings for the "perfect female body" seeing this body as a tool a product of yours can wear.

I've thought about fashion a lot (since I've always been very closely drawn to it) but I must say you'll end up in a fascist environment. It all sounds nicer than it is.

**Wow. Man I'm on a comment-roll**

[janestarz.livejournal.com]

You're probably right.
I'm just at a point where I just don't know anymore.

[tommycee.livejournal.com]

I recognize it when I see it. :) I have that too much too.

Oh well. With this study 80% of the people who gradiuate don't become journalists. ;)

*sigh*

[(Anonymous)]

Damn..... Sucks if you see a side of you which you don't like.... maybe I have a bad influenza.......

[janestarz.livejournal.com]

Yep. No hurry. I can still work for 50 years if I quit school now.

But the problem with fun is that you really want to have it NOW.