janestarz | My period kicked in Mondaynight.

So there are certain aspects of being a woman I like. You don’t get the willy, you don’t get the beardness (not yet, maybe when I’m 50), and well, the breasts are a necessary evil. You get ‘em, you drag ‘em around all your life.

Then there’s the period. You are ‘yourself’ for three weeks and then you bleed a week. In that week you’re moody, your stomach has a whining distant sence of pain which you can feel the entire day. You leak and you can feel yourself leak blood whenever you get up and whenever you do exercise. Sometimes you have headaches. Sometimes you have pain in your lower back. Sometimes you don’t or sometimes you have both. You can feel the whining pain in your body, making sure you remember you have a body, one you should look out for, one you should care for.

And then, when you think the physical uneasiness is enough, you get the hormones. Now, hormones are a terrible thing. They mess with your body and with your mind.
Your mind is never at ease in the bleeding week. It feels like it runs through your body screaming aloud. You wake up and you realise that you’ve been tossing and pondering and worrying all night. There’s anxiety and insecurity. That, and the endless needs.
Needs for chocolate, tea, a big hug, a passionate tumbling in the hay, more chocolate, sleep, chips, and…chocolate. Even though this can change from person to person and even from period to period, you think “Ah, well it’s my period so I am allowed to eat.” So you eat. You stuff yourself with peanutbutter and chocolate and chips and tea and more chocolate and more tea and you sit on your couch and end up feeling sick and fat.

Man, I love hormones.

Do you sense the ironical undertone in this epos? You should. I’m in my period. I’m confused. I can be very purr-purr but also very bitchy. I am just so very confused and I know that because it is my period I can’t speak of the things I am worried about because, really, what if it is all a hormonal thing and I am wrong in my feelings or ponderings? So it all boils and tumbles inside and really, all I want is a hug.